Eight Property Management Jobs Suitable for Elves
According to Papa Elf, from the movie Elf, there are only three jobs available to an elf: making shoes at night while the cobbler sleeps, baking cookies in trees, and building toys in Santa’s workshop.
A fourth profession is that of dentist, if the actions of Hermie from the Rudolph TV special are to be taken as fact (and why wouldn’t they?)
As much as we hate to, we here at Property Management Insider have to disagree with Papa Elf as we believe there are several property management jobs well suited for elves.
By the way, after speaking with a few fair housing specialists, we’re pretty sure that elves don’t fall under a protected class, so they’re fair game. But, keep in mind that nobody knows for sure how connected they are with the North Pole. The last thing you want to do is end up on the Naughty List for mistreating an elf.
Here are just a few jobs we thought would be suitable for elves should you choose to hire any for your apartment community. After you read our suggestions, please share yours in the comments below.
Leasing Office Baker
Elves are already good at baking, so why not take advantage of their culinary skills and use them to fill your leasing office with the smell of fresh baked cookies and other treats.
Resident Relations Specialist
Papa Elf says elves love to tell stories. Because they are chatty and cheerful by nature, elves make a great addition in the front office working with residents who are seeking renewals, new leases, and other issues. And just think how good they will be with the kids.
You know how hard it is to repair an apartment toilet, right? Because we tend to maximize space, walls on three sides are usually within inches of the potty. That tight wall-to-toilet ratio is tough to maneuver for human maintenance technicians. Elves are the perfect size to squeeze along the side of the toilet to unhook water lines and replace flush valves.
Dog Park Supervisor
Elves have amazing communication skills with animals. Who do you think counsels Santa’s reindeer? Can you imagine all the trauma of the stops and starts on Christmas Eve, trying to land on rooftops with no arresting wires and bad shingles? Elves keep reindeer in check, and they can do so at the property’s dog park.
Bed Bug Hunter
Bed-bug sniffing dogs are great but expensive. With their sharp eye sight and enhance hearing, elves can quickly focus on those bed bugs that have turned apartments upside down at some places. Elves can also crawl under beds and examine frames and headboards where bed bugs tend to nest.
This job is clearly for the cold-weather regions. Elves have no problem being out in the cold and snow, so on those frosty mornings you can send out your elven troop to quickly clean off windshields and even offer hot coffee or chocolate to residents as a simple way of saying, “thanks for living here.”
Another frost-related job is for those elves skilled in the art of ice crystal manipulation. Instead of residents waking up and seeing a window covered with a boring sheet of frost, they could be greeted with some beautiful artwork. Jack Frost is clearly the Picasso of frosted window decorations, but elves are probably more like Thomas Kinkaid.
Apartment Security Guard
Four words for you: Elf on a Shelf. Get the picture? If a creepy-looking elf doll can keep kids from misbehaving, imagine real elves perched around your apartment community. I’m thinking year-round “good” behavior from all your residents is highly likely.
We hope these suggestions will help guide your staffing plans in 2013.
Happy holidays from Property Management Insider and happy hiring!